tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-326217592011-04-21T13:56:46.870-06:00themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.comBlogger331100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-35635943084668389372007-08-07T15:16:00.000-06:002007-08-07T15:26:56.864-06:00

Did you know what Oprah did before she was a host of a day time talk show? She was a professional question asker on infomercials. Just like Homer Simpson was. Her latest return to this former job was displayed on the many repeated broadcast of her show with Al Gore talking about his movie (third highest grossing documentary according to Oprah's repeated claims). Every question she asked seemed to

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1170382331815979312007-02-01T18:44:00.000-07:002007-02-01T19:12:11.840-07:00

Outrage erupts as Daniel Radcliffe, best known as the wizard boy Harry Potter, expands his acting resume which requires him to bare all in the UK production of Equus. Parents all over are calling for the end of the advertisement depicting Harry Potter naked. But wait! There is no lightning shaped scar on his forehead. There are no glasses. There are no Gryffindor robes or a wise cracking

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1170380661616367012007-02-01T18:25:00.000-07:002007-02-01T18:44:21.666-07:00

What is a good reason to interupt a regular scheduled program? Here are a few logical options:1. An Amber Alert2. A weather related emergency3. An act of terrorism or declaration of war immediately affecting the broadcast area4. The retirement of a hockey player's jerseyWhat? What was the last one? The retirement of a hockey player's jersey?Well, that is what the CBC (the government operated

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1164688490478335322006-11-27T21:16:00.000-07:002006-11-27T21:34:50.530-07:00

Currently in Alberta the governing party is going through a leadership battle. The current leader is retiring and the review for a new leader has just passed the first vote. In order to become a leader of a political party, the candidate must receive 50% + 1 of the votes of party members. Becoming a party member is easy. Just sign your name and pay your fee. The oddity of Canadian politics is

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1164258243454235052006-11-22T21:29:00.000-07:002006-11-22T22:31:58.800-07:00

Shock and disbelief on the coverage of the Russian Spy case in Montreal. Paul William Hampel is being held in a secret location as he prepares for trial. At his first court appearance for his deportation, Federal Court Judge Pierre Blais told the court he was 'very surprised and angry' that his orders were not followed as Hampel was not given an outline of the case against him in time.It should

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1163740335038473822006-11-16T21:40:00.000-07:002006-11-16T22:12:15.060-07:00

A spy, suspected to be a member of the SVC successor of the KGB, was arrested in an attempt to leave Canada under an assumed identity. Paul William Hampel, as he was known, was detained after a security certificate was sent out regarding his activities. Here's the kicker. He'll probably be deported for his actions and the tax payers will have to pay for it. Way to go, Canada. he gets a free trip

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1163554632017370892006-11-14T18:18:00.000-07:002006-11-14T18:37:12.030-07:00

themadhatter: Hey, Canada! You received the fossil award from the Climate Action Network and Germanwatch has come out with a report card and you are number 51 of 56 countries ranked for performance and climate policy change. What is your reaction, Canada?Canada: We are ahead of Kazakhstan and two ahead of the US. I am happy we beat the neighbour to the south. He thinks he is so great with his

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1162999566005824462006-11-08T08:14:00.000-07:002006-11-08T08:28:24.740-07:00

Canadian news agencies are reporting with glee today as the US mid-term elections have given the Democrats control of the House of Representatives. The Senate is still being contested in Virginia and Montana. Kevin Newman, Global National news anchor will be most thrilled. He has always presented a skewed version of Americans living in Canada. During the last Presidential Race, the only people he

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1162912840724111472006-11-07T08:15:00.000-07:002006-11-07T08:20:40.740-07:00

The day has arrived and all the expected problems are occurring, People intending to vote Democrat are reviewing their ballot and finding that the computer registered a vote for Republican. Is it possible that all these voters are dyslexic? Maybe all those programmers hired by the government have a grudge against the Democrats and are sabotaging their chances to ruin ( I mean run) Congress. My

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1162443006604869442006-11-01T21:02:00.000-07:002006-11-01T21:53:08.593-07:00

I dream of Arizona, maybe Nevada, sometimes New England. Europe? Sure. Now a new destination should be considered and may be offered by your friendly travel agent. Why? For $20, if you are American. Sorry, Canada and other nations are a $10 bonus. Where is this beautiful location? None other than Iran. The premium payment is to show that Iran is in dispute with George W. Bush, not the common US

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1162268794272552192006-10-30T20:48:00.000-07:002006-10-30T21:38:43.290-07:00

Just a predicted, the Electronic Voting Terminals (EVT) are causing problems. Of all places for this to happen, it is in Florida where Govenor Jeb Bush rules. Bush...that seems familiar. Oh yeah, He is brother to President George W. Bush. Florida is also the location of the near Democratic win six years ago when Al gore was eventually declared winner by the courts tired of having snowbirds

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1162170627145154712006-10-29T17:41:00.000-07:002006-10-29T18:10:27.166-07:00

Okay, it wasn't exactly a quote, but a theory that themadhatter posted in jest that is becoming a legitimate concern. Eric Ruff, Pentagon spokesman is reported to say that "rising violence in Iraq [are] attempts by Al Qaeda to influence the U.S. elections and stir up opposition to President George W. Bush." The Democrats have promised to set a date to remove troops and let Iraq run under its

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161915348047028742006-10-26T20:05:00.000-06:002006-10-26T20:15:48.060-06:00

Associated Press reports that a high school principal has banned students from dressing up as the popular childhood super hero, Captain Underpants. Nicholas Restivo banned the costume after three 17 year old female students dressed up in Beige leotards and nude stockings under white underpants and a red cape. They claimed they did nothing wrong and that some of the teachers thought it was cute."

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161870708502571742006-10-26T07:44:00.000-06:002006-10-26T19:52:58.500-06:00

Today Hilarity Clinton turns 59. By age 61 she plans to call 1600 Pennsilvania Avenue home. That would make Bill Clinton the First Gentleman. He will return to his old "romping" grounds. There is a push to get Hillary into the oval office. Hollywood would love it. Glenn Close and Geena Davis have portrayed a female president. In two years it could be reality and not fiction. There was always the

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161821960354895922006-10-25T17:47:00.000-06:002006-10-25T18:19:42.046-06:00

This is a true conversation. The names have been changed to protect identities, but the effect will be the same.(Phone rings)James: Thank you for calling KFC. James speaking.Caller: Is Conrad there?James: No, Conrad has moved on to a different company.Caller: Oh. Who owns KFC?James: Yum! Brands Inc. Do you want to speak to a manager?Caller: Is Yum! Brands Inc. not there?James: No, Yum! Brands Inc

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161700232750860972006-10-24T08:26:00.000-06:002006-10-30T21:35:59.740-07:00

CNN reports that a survey shows that one in five Americans believe that the US is winning the war in Iraq. Another 18% believe that the insurgents are winning. The remainder believe that there is no winner. Of the 1,013 polled, none were Army experienced and most were celebrities. The poll sponsored by a red, white and blue donkey, was conducted the last three days. With two weeks to go before

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161546265731523752006-10-21T22:37:00.000-06:002006-10-22T20:35:30.916-06:00

CNN reports that half of Americans think that Congress is corrupt. Due to a labor shortage and fears that the House Un-American Activities Committee would be re-established, no un-Americans were interviewed. Of those half, only one third believe that their congressman/woman is corrupt. This means that two thirds believe that someone else elected a corrupt person.These suspicions are now fueling

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161364437941717282006-10-20T10:00:00.000-06:002006-10-20T11:13:57.960-06:00

Willet Elementary in Attleboro, MA has banned tag, touch football, and other unsupervised games of chase during recess for fear that someone wil get hurt and hold the school responsible. School principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban, stated that recess is "a time when accidents can happen." While there is no official distric rules, many schools have been implementing their own rules.

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161312318108152502006-10-19T20:20:00.000-06:002006-10-19T20:45:18.120-06:00

The diet industry will go nuts over this new fad. Although the parent of the fad is still a fad, the Japanese have done it again. Sushi is all the rage. People eat it by the plate full. (Still a mystery to this blogger, but whatever). Now the appetite challenged can enjoy the rubbery, salty delicasy with Single Grain Sushi. You can re-read that last sentence again, or read the next one. Single

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161221305267941812006-10-18T19:15:00.000-06:002006-10-18T19:30:51.956-06:00

This report comes from Midvale, Utah of all places. A parent was spotted on the roof of the middle school during a football game. An officer saw him on the roof top walking around, pacing back and forth. The man was carrying what looked like a rifle. SWAT was called in and the field was evacuated. One witness reports hearing someone shouting, "Shooting! Shooting!". He didn't believe them until he

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161105514673481862006-10-17T11:00:00.000-06:002006-10-17T11:27:45.143-06:00

Ever been on a crowded elevator and that familiar sulfur smell infiltrates your nose? On Oct 9, 2006 North Korea tested a nuclear bomb. The US confirmed the event by testing the radiation levels in the air."Sure we farted," Said Pyongyang, "And we will fart again. This time you won't know where." US satellites have confirmed similar activity prior to the first test. This time the North Koreans

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1161048802451586382006-10-16T19:20:00.000-06:002006-10-16T19:33:22.463-06:00

David Rosenberg reports that Israeli Police have evidence that supports allegations that President Moshe Katsav raped, assaulted and sexually harassed several women. A number of instances are being investigated involving women who worked under Katsav's authority.To everyone's surprise. Katsav, 60, is denying the allegations. When asked to comment, he replied, "I did not have sexual realtions

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1160960076993431952006-10-15T18:36:00.000-06:002006-10-15T19:02:31.590-06:00

A 24 year old russian thief was charged after driving away in a Nissan Primera. He told the police that he had seen the machanics do a paint job on the car and leave the keys. He took advantage of the situation and drove off. Little did he know, and shortly he found out, the car had no brakes. After flying through a set of traffic lights, he crashed into another car. He was arrested and charged

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1160711912587362672006-10-13T09:00:00.000-06:002006-10-12T21:58:32.596-06:00

Pennsylvanian Congressional Candidate and Apprentice flunkie, Raj Peter Bhakta, wanted to demonstrate the porous nature of the US southern border. He hired three elephants and a mariachi band to cross the Rio Grande and announce his (il)legal entry into the US. He was able to cross without incident even though he followed an illegal immigrant earlier and video taped him as he swam across the

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1160673428550021592006-10-12T11:04:00.000-06:002006-10-12T21:27:24.136-06:00

A recent story published in the Lao Dong (Labour) newspaper in Hanoi, Vietnam raises questions about the education of the Vietnemese police. A death row inmate in solitary confinement is pregnant. The 39 year old Nguyen Thi Oanh was tested in September by a doctor and discovered she was 11 weeks pregnant. This is a first for a death-row prisoner in Vietnam. Police are investingating how it

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1160625480071508302006-10-11T21:28:00.000-06:002006-10-11T22:00:16.823-06:00

TCCA1, the new double-decked ferry, crashed on it's maiden voyage today. The new conveyance, designed to carry 15 cars, or a combination of cars, shuttle buses, and emergency vehicles plus 100 passengers, to an airport, took nearly 30 minutes to travel 120 meters (131 yards). It was estimated that the trip would take only 90 seconds.The almost $5 million boat docked to a celebration of fireworks

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1160498328998544612006-10-10T10:19:00.000-06:002006-10-10T10:41:32.936-06:00

A large scale security alert was issued near the town of Halle, Germany when a red, orange, and green substance was found on the roadside. Reuters reports a wide area surrounding the spill was cordoned off on Sunday, and experts wearing chemical warfare suits spent a couple of hours examining the substance.The fire brigade assumed a worst case scenario and did several tests. The gelatinous

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1160173089634616462006-10-06T15:44:00.000-06:002006-10-06T16:18:09.646-06:00

The world is increasingly becoming dependent on computer aided spell checks. Believe it or not, even those who receive a post-secondary education are relying on this simple click and edit program. Do you recall Simon and Schuster? (Wayne's last name is not Simon.) I am sure you have read a book published by this famous New York company. They recently published a book for Pakistan President Pervez

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1160065266166239532006-10-05T09:59:00.000-06:002006-10-05T13:12:30.386-06:00

Walking down the piazza you see an olive skinned hunk. He approaches you and asks if you want to share a bowl of spaghetti. You consent and you hop in a fire-red Ferrari as he leads you to a large and gorgeous house. When you enter the kitchen, an older lady walks in and begins to make lunch. Is it his maid? No. It's his mom. A recent study has shown that nearly 82% of young Italian men still

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1159980671047280272006-10-04T10:42:00.000-06:002006-10-05T13:18:54.370-06:00

Recently in Frederick, Maryland, two volunteer cheerleading coaches were dismissed after one of them exposed her belly to the group of 7 and 8 year old girl students, WTOP in Washington reports. The volunteer had a smiley face drawn on her belly and exposed it to remind the girls to smile. "Every time the girls weren't smiling, I showed them the smiley face. They thought it was hilarious,"

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1159889243656155832006-10-03T08:54:00.000-06:002006-10-05T13:18:39.066-06:00

Two American scientists have been awarded the Nobel Prize for physics by increasing the odds that the Big Bang actually happened. Per Carlson, chair of the committee for physics, stated that this discovery "is one of the greatest discoveries of the century." Let me check my calendar. Yep, six years in to a 100 year time span. I am sure this will hold up. How is this possible? Simple. The CBC

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1159683658340783022006-10-01T00:05:00.000-06:002006-10-01T00:29:29.910-06:00

This past week Terrell Owens of NFL fame was rushed into a Dallas hospital for a drug overdose. It was called, by police, a suicide attempt. During the day after it was called an allergic reaction, a reaction, a mix up by the T.O. publicity people. So what is the truth? Facts laid before us stand as this:1. T.O. was in the hospital for an overdose.2. When asked by police if he tried to harm

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32621759.post-1159643864129170002006-09-30T13:17:00.000-06:002006-09-30T13:20:43.696-06:00

themadhatterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01766288333948731443noreply@blogger.com0